Persons Represented
Romeo – Captain in the FBI
Ethel – daughter of Paul Onious, the Pirate
Titus Whitus – Section head, Anti-Piracy – FBI
Act I Scene 1
[A Starbucks in the Capital City]
Romeo:
Sweet caffeine tears of the one true goddess;
Bitter taint removed with filtered bodice.
Latte mischievous, so forward and bold.
Mid-summers delight, a frappe served cold.
But alas! ‘Tis been most of a fortnight
Ere I held tight a Hazelnut Delight.
O Menu! Thou infinite, cruel temptress!
Hercules himself faced not such endless
Sysyphian task as now weighs on me.
Their voices call.
Clerk:
Sirrah, your choice will be?
Romeo:
Does the heart beat by choice? Choice is to choose –
Selection of one while others I lose.
To choose to lose is to deny those lost.
Deny denial no matter the cost.
Clerk:
Uhh. Is that one of each sir? To go sir?
Romeo:
The goddess hast called me. My blood dost stir
But sluggishly. Mayhaps a mocha –
Ethel: [behind him in line]
What now?
Pr’ythee order or be gone from the line sir!
Romeo:
Speak you to me?
Ethel:
Rather I’d speak to your hat.
It knows where ‘tis going and where ‘tis at.
A reed in the wind has more constant aim.
Ye gods, this line was moving ere you came.
Romeo:
Then speak to the hat for though without ears
It still will care more for that which it hears
Not, than I will care not for that I hear.
Clerk:
Sir? Your order please?
Romeo:
An order indeed.
A white choc’late espresso for my need.
A coin of the realm for the lady shrew.
Though her drink of choice be a witch’s brew.
Turn this tiger to a kitten, I cry!
Tame her! What say you to this, Lady?
Ethel:
Chai.
Act I Scene II
[Later in the Starbucks]
Romeo:
Indeed the witch’s brew hath worked. How now?
Ethel:
The mist o’ my mind hast been overcrow’d
By the Sun o’ my drink and drinking the Son.
Romeo:
Sweet misery to shine upon you forever.
The sweet heat shared would be a treasure,
But the night would never come in our domain.
I would dare much to call you my Lady,
If you’ll let me call on you my Lady.
Ethel:
‘Twere there no nights, then dream days are heaven
on Earth. Eighth and Market. Apartment 7.
Act II Scene I
[FBI Headquarters]
Titus
Wherefore art thou 2 hours late, Romeo?
Romeo:
Perchance to review surveillance video
On the next search and seizure stakeout.
Titus:
The warrant is signed, now the men will rout
Any suspect we find given the state
Of pirated movies found at Market and Eight.
